What if?

So, I was wondering what would happen if Zelda's Link ever dated Sleeping beauty. I'm not an expert on Zelda, I often get it confused with other Nintendo games like Final Fantasy which usually has an exorbitant amount of Roman numerals behind the titles. So, from what little information I actually have on this Link character I have determined he really isn't the best guy to be dating your daughter. First, he dresses in an elf outfit. He runs around with a little saber/sword, bows and arrows, and he drinks and eats all kinds of crap he finds just lying around. I distinctly remembering my mother telling me not to drink the magic potions I found in the local gas station. She told me to "Just Say No!" Link must not have had parents that cared for him! He just runs around and eats and drinks this stuff. I think it is obvious that Link is a major druggy; normal food and drink doesn't "magically" give you super speed and power. I think he has some mental issues as well. Normal people don't walk around in public with knives and crap like that. I believe the proper medical term would be schizotypal personality disorder- not exactly the type you want your daughter to date!!!!

Sleeping beauty, on the other hand, was made way back in the days before computers or Nintendo even existed. And in the movie she is only like 16 years old. What is she doing messing around with dragon witches and princes at the age of 16. Most 16 year old girls that I know are still learning to manipulate boys and buy underwear. It is preposterous to think that a 16 year old girl would actually have such drama in her life. I can just imagine the calls she made to her parents, who actually seem to care very little for their daughter to leave her to be raised by 3 pudgy and retarded fairies (for those of you who are interested I think they have Prader Wili syndrome). The fact that she sleeps so much is an interesting topic. It is difficult to determine the cause of her lethargy and it may, in fact, be due to mononucleosis. Given her age and lack of parental control I would say that she has been "Sleeping" around! This is, undoubtedly, where she caught Mono!

Now comes the interesting part . . . putting the two together. So, we have a degenerate druggy who has some obvious mental problems and violent tendencies; and we have a young promiscuous girl with no parental care being raised by three mentally handicapped fairies. The combination is just disasterous. Soon "Sleepin Around Beauty" will be off partying with her drug dealing boyfriend. She'll wind up pregnant and he'll wind up with some sort of STD. But don't they look cute together!