Seven Dorks!

When a doctor walks into a room and sees that there is more than one patient for him to see, he immediately begins to think of ways to get out of the room as fast as he can. One patient is often all he/she can handle. So imagine what was going through my head when I tried to deal with all Seven Dwarves at once! If there has ever been a larger collection of social misfits with mental and medical problems I'd like to see it.

First, all Seven Dwarves have what is called Fragile X Syndrome. This is a syndrome (disease) that is caused by excessive copying of a portion of the person's genetic material. The X chromosome is one of the chromosomes that determines whether or not a person is a male of female. The excessively copied material happens to be on the X chromosome. It just so happens that Fragile X Syndrome almost always happens in males (I say ALMOST because there are rare instances where a female has fragile X syndrome). The excessively copied genes don't behave normally and this causes the person to have several problems, including impaired social function, mental retardation, flat feet, protruding ears, cluttered or nervous speech, and large testicles. It just so happens that all 7 Dwarves have these features. There have been instances where several Fragile X syndrome persons have been found living together, as is the case with our group of mentally challenged persons.

All seven dorks have protruding ears, cluttered speech, and autistic-like social problems. They display a degree of mental retardation too! I mean just look at Dopey- they might as well have called him “Stupid” as Dopey- if he isn't retarded I'll never blog again! Poor ol Sneezy- this guy has seasonal allergies in addition to his other medical problems- he needs some Allegra. Sleepy must have gotten into Doc's medicine cabinet and taken some Valium- it is a sad sight to see a mentally challenged person addicted to drugs, they have a decreased ability to control themselves anyway!
I have no clue what Grumpy's problem is. A bad attitude won't improve your genetic situation! Bashful- I think the writers were really straining to find another adjective when they came up with bashful. They could have called him one of hundreds of adjectives, like “stinky” or “ugly” or “shorty” all of these adjectives end in the “ee” sound. Happy, well I think this guy got off pretty lucky. Either he doesn't realize his genetic/mental state or he just found out he has macro-orchidism (big testicles). Lucky for us this was one thing that Disney couldn't inform us about in their G rated cartoon.

Now, for the last but not least of the Seven Fragile X's . . . DOC! Now, given the fact that he is retarded there is no way on this green planet that he made it all the way through medical school to become a real doctor. Granted, having been through medical school I can say that I have met some people that are not exactly personable, some have even been a little autistic in some ways, but I have never seen a Fragile X syndrome medical student- at least not in an MD program. There may be some foreign medical school that is begging for students. In my opinion he is a Quack'o'practor, and should be sued for practicing without a license. On second thought, he works in a mine, slaving away with a pick, trying to pull crap out of a crater . . . much like a DENTIST would do!!!