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X Morons

As I do not have a job to go to for a while I figured I would turn in my monthly blog. I figured that since our self worth should be based on the stockmarket ticker number that we have all been feeling pretty worthless lately. Yesterday was particularly bad, there was a decrease of over 700 points. In light of this I decided to make everyone feel a little better about themselves by writing about a group of misfits that should make everyone feel like there is someone out there a little worst off than we are. Of course I am speaking of the ridiculous X-men (for some reason the comic book got the original Polish translation wrong and called them the incredible X-men- common mistake- they are definitely the RIDICULOUS X-men!)

Best of the best, or rather should I say dumbest of the dumb is Cyclops- first off what a dumb name for a guy with TWO eyes!!! For those of you who aren't familiar with the X-men Cyclops is a guy with TWO eyes who shoots laser beams out of his eyes when he opens them. This ridiculous power is controlled by a special set of glasses that he wears. The recent movies have shown that he can wear some special sunglasses made of this stuff when he is in public. My question is why they don't just make his glasses into contacts? Interestingly enough, he would be quite normal with a set of special contacts, you know . . . made from the same stuff that the glasses are made out of. Despite this simple solution to the problem he still goes by that ridiculous name and continues to wear those stupid glasses when he gets into a fight.

Second on the list is Storm. I must say that for someone with such a cool power she certainly doesn't know how to use it. There are plently of famines and draughts throughout the world, yet she tends to focus her powers on a little problems. And this is not to mention . . . she didn't stop Katrina? Supposedly she can control the weather. So, why did she allow Katrina and Ike to destroy New Orleans and the Texas? I think we should all stop blaming President Bush and FEMA and whoever else for out problems and start blaming the X-men, who are the cause-of and solution-to all the world's problems.

Wolverine has one of the most enviable powers: super healing. Amazingly, his powers are transferred to his pants but not his shirt. In the latest X-men movie (for those of you unfortunate enough to see it), while trying to get close to the super destructive Phoenix he has flesh ripped from his body, all the while his pants remain intact. AMAZING!!!! I want a pair of indestructible pants too! They are even stronger than his skin. It also seems that the X-men's powers get so much more ridiculous as the movies progress. The first movie (fairly entertaining) included the X-men getting beat up and some dying, and even the main characters get hurt or are vulnerable to normal threats . . . by the third movie they are making the Golden Gate bridge fly around . . . ridiculous.

Who can forget Professor X? He has enough power to stop all the non-mutants from moving why doesn't he use his power to stop the non-mutants whilst he and his mutants do their thing? He is retarded, he should use his mind powers to make his legs work, and maybe grow some hair for his bald head. Actually I think Obama is trying to be Xavier, he's got the bald head thing and leads a bunch of misfits around in a vain attempt to same the planet from their own kind. Besides, I think it looks like the professor is driving around a bumper car from an amusement park. Absolutely ridiculous! There you are folks the Ridiculous X-men!

Who is the Incredible Hulk?

So, a few months ago Jen and I decided to go see the newest Hulk movie. Admittedly I was entertained. It was full of action and story and featured the guy from American History X (I don't recommend this movie- it made me feel aweful after I saw it on TV) and a movie with Brad Pitt called Fight Club. He hides out on Brazil somewhere and the US government can't find him. The US government found Saddam Hussein and they have found loads of other terrorists, the only person they haven't found has been Osama, but hey they might elect a president named Obama (just one letter off!!!). I digress . . .
So, watching this movie I began to wonder about the origins of the Hulk. I think the movie got it all wrong. They seem to blame the Hulk's incredible power and green color to some radiation he was exposed to while doing research for the government. This is bull crap! In my line of work I see patients with radiation treatment and some crazy chemical treatment, I have NEVER seen a patient get stronger because they were undergoing radiation therapy and never have I seen a patient's skin change a green color like that after radiation therapy. So, in light of the fact that the movies have been lying to us I have decided to give a few explanations of the Hulk's origins.

First Theory- The Hulk was born that way! The hulk is obviously a very large individual and so logically he would have been a very large child/baby. The hulk has a difficult time controlling his anger which points to a difficult and troubled childhood. Perhaps the Hulk was made fun of during childhood for his size? While there is no race that conforms to the green skin and black hair of the Hulk I propose that the green skin is actually a detail that the movie makers got wrong too, in addition to the Hulk's origin. The Hulk really could be of any race, I will not venture a guess at his race. All we know is that the Hulk was a very large child who was made fun of- and from this we can deduce that he was a very fat child.

Second Theory- Given that the first theory was pretty good, we'll stick to that premise. As the Hulk got older he began to replace his fat rolls with muscle. Naturally, given his size, he dabbled in steroids or at the very least was INVOLVED in the NFL. As for his whereabouts while this was taking place, who knows, he probably lived in a gymn, or served time in one of our luxurious state penetentaries with full gymns.

Third Theory- the first two theories are pretty solid and so all I can do is to add to them. Given that the Hulk's outbursts come every so often and seem to be on a cycle I would say that the Hulk is actually a woman (hold on there- women everywhere I respect you- all I am saying is that Hulk seems to be a little emotional at times- and he is a girl)!
Given the above theories I would have to conclude that the Hulk is alive and well in our society. While I cannot identify the Hulk with certainty I have narrowed it down to a few candidates. Please vote for your favorite.

Soup or Man?

As I was sitting on a plane, coming back from a country where you can't drink the water for fear of diarrhea and parasites I was thinking about my vulnerabilities as a mortal human being. As it turns out I got sick at the end of my trip and I was pondering the frailty of the human body. The idea of invulnerability came to my mind and naturally Superman did as well. As I pondered on Superman I watched the in-flight movie next to my pal Darrell. I thought of how much easier my life would be if I were superman.
To start with, I could fly without an airplane. This would be very handy as it would save me both time and money, not to mention the 2 or three trips I had to make to the San Pedro Sula airport bathroom (something I really did not enjoy and tried to avoid at all costs). This would be great but honestly, you'd have to have impeccable direction. I can tell which direction is north, and with direction is south, but if you asked me to point directly to my apartment in Louisville I would have a heck of a time. I would end up flying around for hours just trying to find the right city. Airplanes have compasses and I'm willing to pay them a bit extra for the in flight snack and beverage if they can fly me straight home!
I then began thinking about having super-strength. This would indeed be cool, but Superman needs the sun's in order to have his incredible power- we learned this from Superman MXVIII. How crappy would that be? If there was a volcano that blocked the sun or if you needed your strength on a day with a full solar eclipse you'd be up crap-creek without a paddle. I think I'll stick with my dependable, yet somewhat weaker strength. Besides, I asked myself what I'd do with my super strength . . . I came to the conclusion that I would just be an overgrown vandal- picking up cars (which no doubt damages them), smashing stuff, throwing big stuff really far, tearing up truck tires, and tieing pipes in knots!
At this point superman didn't look so super to me. He claims to be invulnerable, but we see this isn't so. Kryptonite, if it is a green color makes him really sick. He just has to be around it. Lead seems to protect him from the green kryptonite, which made me wonder about Superman's brains . . . if he has any . . . why doesn't he make his suit out of lead? If I can wear a lead vest at work all day I think so-called superman would be able to as well. So, I have begun to question both his intelligence and his powers. The red kryptonite makes him bad . . . yeah whatever . . . I've heard too many excuses before in my life to believe that. Blaming your actions on a rock is a new low! Take responsibility Superman, suck it up and be a man about it. . . . uuuhh uhhh it wasn't me . . . . it was that red rock over there, ya, IT made me do it! (Rubbish!)

The other thing that makes me question Dumb-man's intellectual ability is his choice in disguises. He thinks that by putting on a pair of glasses he has sufficiently hidden his face? I don't think ANY of the audience watching was confused when he took of his glasses . . . "hey, where did that guy with glasses go? And how did this new guy get here? Dang! What the . . .??? Where did Clark go?" But the funny thing is that like all of the other retarded super heros, superman tends to associate with people dumber than he is- enhancing the illusion of his super powers- Lois Lane, all of the people at the Daily Planet, Jimmy (who is a photographer and is supposed to be visually observant) and everyone else in Metropolis. I am honestly beginning to wonder if Metropolis is just the name of the mental home where all these people live.

I then began to think about his not-so-great powers. He can freeze stuff with his icy cold breath. I bet that comes in handy at parties where the host doesn't have any ice. Other than that why would you need this? In one movie he uses it to put out a fire. The fire was so small that the fire department could have put it out in the same amount of time with one hose. Besides, I've always been told that wind feeds/fuels the flames rather than puts them out. X-ray vision is only good for one thing . . . being a pervert! And it just so happens that is exactly what superman uses it for . . . to look under people's clothes. Superman needs to learn some privacy and respect!
The last two powers that Superman has are by far the dumbest! I'll start with his laser vision. I can count on NO hands how many times I've though to myself, “hey, if only I had laser vision I could totally solve this problem.” Honestly, what does he use this for? He uses it to heat up the guns of bad guys, but that is the dumbest thing in the world, if he can travel so fast and is bulletproof why does he need to do that? Laser vision!!! Honestly, and all you need is a mirror to beat it!
Last but not least is superman's retarded ability to fly really fast around the world so fast that it makes the world turn backwards (somehow- in the writers' retarded pea-sized minds) would reverse time as well as the rotation of the earth. He then proceeded to save Lois Lane from a really slow and small landslide that she could have easily escaped from- survival of the fittest Superman!!! She is too dumb to live!

So, I just sat back in my airplane chair and enjoyed the breakfast omlete they were serving, watched some superhero movie where the superpowers are more realistic- one of them has the ability to be invisible- but only when noone is looking! Fanastic! Darrel was off picking up on women on the plane while I enjoyed my flight home!

Spiderman is a Chump!

Spiderman, what a fool! I think his dumbest power is his so-called "Spider Sense" where he can "sense" when danger is coming. If this power were so cool he would never get punched, yet each and every one of these new Spiderman movies Tobey McGuire gets his butt kicked, multiple times! So much for that crappy Spidey-sense!

Climb walls, why not take the stairs, you's look like less of a freak.

And what is with hiding on the ceiling? Honestly, if I walked into a room and there was a 170lb spider on the ceiling I think I would notice! I sometimes notice the ones that weigh less than 1 gram- and those spiders aren't dressed in a bright red outfit dripping blood all over the place! Honestly!

I also wanted to address his so-called ability to swing through the streets on his web ropes! First, they make it appear that he swings in a straight line through the street while swinging from one web at a time. If he was swinging from a web attached to a building on his right he would swing to the right! Same for the left. Now, if he attached his web to a building far enough in front of him he could theoretically swing in a "somewhat" straight line, BUT in order for this to happen he would be swinging on a web so long that he would crash into the ground. (See diagram)

Another thing I have noticed is his ability to catch a grenade with his web and fling it back at his opponent. This was really cool . . . IF IT WAS POSSIBLE! Web is sticky, and if he caught it using sticky web it is likely to keep sticking to it. But nope; it somehow magically stays stuck just until he needs it to release. I think this a conspiracy to make people believe Spiderman has superpowers when he really doesn't. It just doesn't add up.

Working in a hospital I have seen some mean ol spider bites. Brown Recluse and Black Widow bites, but NOT ONCE have I seen these patient's have any super powers other than their super ability to annoy the heck out of their family members with their incessant whining! Coming from a medical standpoint a genetically engineered animal cannot pass on its genetically engineered DNA to anyone or anything except its own offspring. Spiderboy is faking it! What a sucker! He is completely delusional! He has no super powers! Honestly, if he really had super powers why would he date this (yes folks this is Kirsten Dunst-aka Mary Jane Watson).

Jimmy Bond

So, James Bond . . . there are so many things I can say. Lets start with what is wrong with Jimmy boy! Despite all the attempts to make him into a super action star I just can't buy into it. The bad guys he faces are all "bloody idiots" as Jimmy himself would put it. These evil villains keep spilling their evil plans to Jimbo when they have him captive and could easily kill him. They then put Jamey into some deathmachine that seems suspectfully easy to escape from. It then comes as no surprise that the employees of these villains are as mentally challenged or more so than their bosses. These so-called super-villains that James faces are piss-poor examples of what a real villain would be. They build big bubble domes in the middle of the ocean. They have stealth boats or spend their money on ice-castles instead of doing something really villain-like with their money. Why don´t they just buy Weapons of Mass Destruction or at least bribe politicians to get what they want? I mean come on!!!! There are much simpler ways to accomplish what these bad guys are after. They really are mentally retarded! It comes as no surpirse that an old geezer James Bond can defeat them in a game of whits and who can gum the most women . . . which brings me to my next point.

Now, this guy is getting older and he keeps sleeping with younger and younger women. . . much like Whinny the Pooh! What it is that women see in this guy beats me. Take a look him (see included pictures). As you can see they didn't pick Sean Connery up from just anywhere, apparently he was a member of a traveling circus. And from the appearance of things Pierce Brosnan was picked up from an AA meeting! All of the James Bonds are just alike. From a medical standpoint sleeping with so many women for so long has very likely landed Jimmy with a nice case of syphilis- the bacteria called Treponemia pallidum can go unnoticed or at least ignored. It then comes back occasionally to create a stir just like the James Bond movies do every few years or so. After many repeated episodes the bacteria (or James Bond movie) finally sets in on its final target the nerves and blood vessels around the spinal cord, brain, and heart. This has caused both James Bond and his fans to react irrationally. 007 often acts as though he has nothing to lose. Which may actually be true. It wouldn't be impossible with number of times he has been injected with toxin by his enemy or the number of women he has slept with to have been infected with the HIV virus. HIV in its later stages can cause a dementia (if you think I´m exagerating here take a look again at the pictures). He may not have long to live anyway, and maybe he has decided that fighting with retards is a good way to end his life.

Then there comes what Jimmy will have to face after he dies. He has broken almost every rule in the Bible and every other known code of ethical conduct that I know of. It is likely that his drinking, killing, and having extramarital affairs with married and unmarried women will likely land him a nice hot boiling pot of water when he finally succumbs to the "clap!" (Chlamydia in an AIDS patient can be deadly).

I have had enough of society holding James Bond on a pedestal. He is nothing more than a mad man on a mission to beat up retards and seduce drunk and desparate women. Take a good look at your hero folks. He won't be around forever! But hey, I do like the Sombrero and the Mustach!

Airy Potta

Admittedly I've read J.K. Rowlings' Harry Potter series in both English and Spanish, something I will have to live with for the rest of my life, unless of course I develop some sort of cognitive impairment that eliminates the portion of my memory that stores things like: how pig-crap smells, the Spanish word for window-shopping, what Skittles taste like (nasty little candies), the name of my elementary school classmate who got arrested for growing marijuana, and other useless information. It all honesty I was entertained by Rowlings' books. They kept me wanting more, just like when I was younger my friends and I would keep shocking ourselves with some exposed electrical wires . . . just because it was fun. I've actually gained a lot from reading her books in Spanish. I can now talk extensively in Spanish about witches and wizards, goblins and ghosts, and most importantly Harry Potter.

Ironically I started to read the Harry Potter series because of a girl. I say ironically because most men who read Harry Potter are single and have no chance of getting married (or they are already married and are just trying to figure out who their wives are talking about when the Visiting Teachers come over and chat for hours about how Lord Wartremover will kill the Boy Who Lived).

Now, Harry himself isn't anything special. His magic is total phony-balony and I can do the same things he can do, and I don't have to yell out stupid phrases like Stupid-Fact-O, or Pat-On-My-Rump!! Some might say . . . oh yeah, can you fly like Harry???? Stupid question! Harry needs a contraption to fly . . . I can fly too, I have a choice of airplanes, jets, helicopters, hovercraft, hot-air balloons, zeplins, catapults, and spaceships. Harry can fix his glasses with his wand, well I can fix glasses with a screw driver. Harry can cast spells that stop people in their tracks . . . Have you ever heard of a taser-gun? Harry can use his wand like a flashlight! What is so special about a flashlight.

Truth be told Harry Potters world is pretty crappy- you've got staircases that are always changing (I'd get pretty pissed if after climbing several flights of stairs I had to wait for the staircase to spin around again. They don't even have elevators! They have crazy dragons flying around, they can't swim in their only lake for fear of some crazy mermaids, teachers are being killed or trees that kill you if you get too close, and seven years of learning the same ol material! And what occupations do they have when they graduate??? The only one's mentioned are bar tender, policemen, politician, and evil people. Your career choices are completely limited and the only sport they play is Quit-It!

So, here's to you J.K. You have made over a billion dollars selling seven loads of mediocre horse manure covered in magical jelly beans that taste like earwax and puke!

Seven Dorks!

When a doctor walks into a room and sees that there is more than one patient for him to see, he immediately begins to think of ways to get out of the room as fast as he can. One patient is often all he/she can handle. So imagine what was going through my head when I tried to deal with all Seven Dwarves at once! If there has ever been a larger collection of social misfits with mental and medical problems I'd like to see it.

First, all Seven Dwarves have what is called Fragile X Syndrome. This is a syndrome (disease) that is caused by excessive copying of a portion of the person's genetic material. The X chromosome is one of the chromosomes that determines whether or not a person is a male of female. The excessively copied material happens to be on the X chromosome. It just so happens that Fragile X Syndrome almost always happens in males (I say ALMOST because there are rare instances where a female has fragile X syndrome). The excessively copied genes don't behave normally and this causes the person to have several problems, including impaired social function, mental retardation, flat feet, protruding ears, cluttered or nervous speech, and large testicles. It just so happens that all 7 Dwarves have these features. There have been instances where several Fragile X syndrome persons have been found living together, as is the case with our group of mentally challenged persons.

All seven dorks have protruding ears, cluttered speech, and autistic-like social problems. They display a degree of mental retardation too! I mean just look at Dopey- they might as well have called him “Stupid” as Dopey- if he isn't retarded I'll never blog again! Poor ol Sneezy- this guy has seasonal allergies in addition to his other medical problems- he needs some Allegra. Sleepy must have gotten into Doc's medicine cabinet and taken some Valium- it is a sad sight to see a mentally challenged person addicted to drugs, they have a decreased ability to control themselves anyway!
I have no clue what Grumpy's problem is. A bad attitude won't improve your genetic situation! Bashful- I think the writers were really straining to find another adjective when they came up with bashful. They could have called him one of hundreds of adjectives, like “stinky” or “ugly” or “shorty” all of these adjectives end in the “ee” sound. Happy, well I think this guy got off pretty lucky. Either he doesn't realize his genetic/mental state or he just found out he has macro-orchidism (big testicles). Lucky for us this was one thing that Disney couldn't inform us about in their G rated cartoon.

Now, for the last but not least of the Seven Fragile X's . . . DOC! Now, given the fact that he is retarded there is no way on this green planet that he made it all the way through medical school to become a real doctor. Granted, having been through medical school I can say that I have met some people that are not exactly personable, some have even been a little autistic in some ways, but I have never seen a Fragile X syndrome medical student- at least not in an MD program. There may be some foreign medical school that is begging for students. In my opinion he is a Quack'o'practor, and should be sued for practicing without a license. On second thought, he works in a mine, slaving away with a pick, trying to pull crap out of a crater . . . much like a DENTIST would do!!!

I've had enough

Well, I think that's the last straw!!!! Aparently you all have no taste when it comes to superheros (Orlando Bloome isn't much of a superhero- i just stuck him on there as a test for Jenny!!!). The Old-School Batman is 10 times better than the new generation Batman. Adam West could beat up Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Loony-Bin with both hands tied behind his back! You all are crazy! The new Batman doesn't have the cool "Whammm!" "Bang" "Pow" things that the old-school Batman had, and how in the world could you miss his outfit!! It is way better than the new Batman outfit- the old-school Batman didn't need any super body armor suit!!!! . . . . He could dodge bullets!!!!! The new Batmen are wusses in comparison! I am sickened by the way the media has tainted your tastes! And by the results of the poll . . . I think Jenny was distracted by the only non-super hero on the list!!!

Bipolar Bat

So, since my last blog I have decided to talk about one of my favorite superheros. I want to say that I think it is incredible that these heros accomplish what they accomplish despite their mental disorders. So, without further ado I give you . . . Batman!

Now, batman is quite the character. He had a tough childhood and witnessed his parents' deaths leaving him an orphan; which must have left him with some mental scars. Some blame Bruce Wayne's future actions on these mental scars, but as I will show you Bruce Wayne's actions are better accounted for, not by his hatred of crime, but rather by a brain chemical imbalance causing a servere case of Bipolar disorder.

Bruce Wayne, or Batman as we will call him, runs the family business during the day and at night he runs around looking for trouble. He tries to find the thugs with guns or the villain with some super crazy weapon. Batman claims that he does this to end crime, when in fact he is doing this for the adrenaline rush, which is considered a risky or dangerous behavior (in the medical community we call this risky psychomotor aggitation), very common among people with bipolar disorder. Very well you might say, not everyone who participates in risky behavior has bipolar . . . true, but let me continue. The fact that he stays up all night and has a decreased need for sleep is a dead giveaway that Batman is bipolar. There is a mountain of evidence that Batman is bipolar; for example, he sleeps with who knows how many women, every batman movie I've seen he is with a different woman- this is called sexual indiscretion. He tends to spend excessively large sums on strange but goal oriented projects such as the Batmobile, the Batplane, the Bat-helicopter, shark repellent (yes folks, he really did use Batman brand shark repellent in the old school movie). And he definitely has in increased self-esteem. These are the classic signs of bipolar disorder. He is clearly not stable mentally. It would be for the good of society to lock Batman up . . . or at least after he has made a couple more movies . . . that last one was pretty good.

Sleeping Beauty's faries- Prader Willi

In the movie Sleeping Beauty princess Aurora is threatened by the evil Maleficent. In order to protect the princess her parents hide Aurora deep in woods. I'm not sure if the parents were being negligent or just plain stupid but they put their only daughter under the care of three "fairies" suffering from mental retardation.

Now for those of you who haven't gone to medical school I wish to educate you as to a certain genetically acquired form of mental retardation called Prader Willi syndrome. Prader Willi syndrome is a fairly rare disease. Those suffering from Prader Willi syndrome are missing a specific gene. Those with Prader Willi have some other interesting features. One of the most striking features is that they LOVE TO EAT- and they just can't control their eating habits. This causes these people to be very over-weight (FAT would be the medical term). Other of these patients' features is that they are also short in stature. Now I refer you to my first picture (see figure 1).

As you can clearly see these so-called fairies have every characteristic of a Prader-Willi syndrome person- they are all fat, all short in stature, and all a bit mentally challenged.

It was a very stupid thing of the king and queen to place their only daughter (who was being threatened by a very evil witch) in the hands of three mentally handicapped eat-aholics.

What if?

So, I was wondering what would happen if Zelda's Link ever dated Sleeping beauty. I'm not an expert on Zelda, I often get it confused with other Nintendo games like Final Fantasy which usually has an exorbitant amount of Roman numerals behind the titles. So, from what little information I actually have on this Link character I have determined he really isn't the best guy to be dating your daughter. First, he dresses in an elf outfit. He runs around with a little saber/sword, bows and arrows, and he drinks and eats all kinds of crap he finds just lying around. I distinctly remembering my mother telling me not to drink the magic potions I found in the local gas station. She told me to "Just Say No!" Link must not have had parents that cared for him! He just runs around and eats and drinks this stuff. I think it is obvious that Link is a major druggy; normal food and drink doesn't "magically" give you super speed and power. I think he has some mental issues as well. Normal people don't walk around in public with knives and crap like that. I believe the proper medical term would be schizotypal personality disorder- not exactly the type you want your daughter to date!!!!

Sleeping beauty, on the other hand, was made way back in the days before computers or Nintendo even existed. And in the movie she is only like 16 years old. What is she doing messing around with dragon witches and princes at the age of 16. Most 16 year old girls that I know are still learning to manipulate boys and buy underwear. It is preposterous to think that a 16 year old girl would actually have such drama in her life. I can just imagine the calls she made to her parents, who actually seem to care very little for their daughter to leave her to be raised by 3 pudgy and retarded fairies (for those of you who are interested I think they have Prader Wili syndrome). The fact that she sleeps so much is an interesting topic. It is difficult to determine the cause of her lethargy and it may, in fact, be due to mononucleosis. Given her age and lack of parental control I would say that she has been "Sleeping" around! This is, undoubtedly, where she caught Mono!

Now comes the interesting part . . . putting the two together. So, we have a degenerate druggy who has some obvious mental problems and violent tendencies; and we have a young promiscuous girl with no parental care being raised by three mentally handicapped fairies. The combination is just disasterous. Soon "Sleepin Around Beauty" will be off partying with her drug dealing boyfriend. She'll wind up pregnant and he'll wind up with some sort of STD. But don't they look cute together!

Boards are finally done!!! Just the Clinical skills exam left. For those of you who don't know what boards or clinical skills exams are . . . count yourselves lucky! All I know is that I am praying that Hillary Clinton doesn't get elected. Don't misunderstand me, it's not that she's a democrat, or that she's in favor of removing troops from Iraq, she just smells awful . . . I think she has chronic flatulence.

For those of you who are interested in the picture located to the left - <----- - This is Colonel Sanders house, and yes we had chicken for lunch. Do you see the resemblance?